Husband asks mum not to breastfeed child

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A woman anonymously shares a doleful incident regarding her insensitive husband on an online forum for breast-feeders based out of Australia. She was hopelessly inundated for the same with not so constructive advice along with the hateful comments against him.

The woman, a mother of three, 2 girls and a boy, recently posted on an Australian online rendezvous for breastfeeders with around 300,00 members, that she was having a hard time with her husband who was demanding her to stop breastfeeding the baby boy. The controversial nature of her post attracted many kibitzers leaving spiteful comments. Though all these were with good intentions, the author found advises like getting a divorce not so useful.

Her concern :

“My husband wants me to stop breastfeeding my son. We have daughters together, but he makes fun of my son when he cries for me and says things like ‘he’s such a girl.’ My husband also thinks I should stop breastfeeding because he says it’s stopping me from losing weight. He isn’t open to the idea of talking to a professional about this. Has anyone got any advice on dealing with an unsupportive husband?”

Fortunately, among the responses was a reply from Gina Haitidis, holder of a degree in sociology and criminology and a Masters in social work and forensic medical health. Being an expert, she reasoned out as follows:

“1. Your third child is a boy and him as a father possibly has had fantasies surrounding the relationship he would have with his son. It appears (most likely because your son is still very young) that you are living out your husbands fantasises, but he is not. This could make him somewhat jealous and insecure.

  1. This is further emphasised through his remarks of saying your son is being like a girl when he cries for you. Your husband may be saying this for two reasons – One being again he is not the first point of protection or comfort and two, he would feel somewhat left out of your special relationship.
  2. With respect to your weight I’m not sure of the background to the comment, but if you yourself have mentioned weight loss in the past, then this might be a way of him trying to persuade you in a positive supportive light (although it might not come across that way).”

Gina also suggested her to encourage father-son bonding.

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