Complaining may feel good, but too much could affect your brain, body and relationships

SINGAPORE: Complaining is pretty much a part of who we are. Studies have shown that the average adult complains, on average, 15 to 30 times, or about 8 minutes and 45 seconds a day.

It became a part of our routine. And really, who could blame us when we, as humans, are wired to notice the bad things around us more — a phenomenon known as "negativity bias"?

Now, this bias was beneficial in the past, when our great ancestors were scavenging for any scrap of food they could find in the wild and, at the same time, were looking out for any signs of predators. But in the present? Not so much.

And so is the complaining part. In moderation, complaining can be good. It fixes the problem that ought to be fixed. Repressing these negative emotions can also raise stress levels.

But when you treat it like a sport, that's when it becomes harmful.

"As a society, we complain too much, but more importantly, we don't complain effectively," Guy Winch, author of The Squeaky Wheel, says. "We've lost a sense of what complaining is for; instead, we use it as an exercise for venting, and that has consequences."

Here are the negative effects of complaining, according to researchers:

It can affect the brain

The tricky, yet wonderful, thing about the brain is that it can change and adapt based on how we think and treat it.

According to research from Stanford University, frequent complaining can shrink our hippocampus, the part of the brain responsible for memory, learning, problem solving, and spatial navigation.

It can also have an impact on physical health

Aside from the brain, complaining can also affect our overall physical health.

According to studies, whenever we complain, the hormone cortisol is released into the body, triggering our fight-or-flight response.

In this state, our brain essentially redirects blood, oxygen and energy away from non-essential systems.

Cortisol itself is not harmful. This hormone helps regulate our body's use of glucose, decrease inflammation, regulate blood pressure and control our sleep-wake cycle.

It becomes dangerous, however, when it is released frequently. It can put our bodies at risk of developing heart disease, high cholesterol, diabetes, obesity and strokes.

It affects the way we see the world

Whenever we repeat certain behaviours, in this case complaining, our neurons branch out toward one another and form a new pathway of communication.

The more you complain, the more efficient that pathway becomes, until the new habit or behaviour gradually feels easier.

In time, complaining becomes second nature, and you start to see the world differently. You become a pessimist.

This can take a toll on your relationships, leaving you increasingly jaded. What's more, a study published in the Archives of General Psychiatry found that optimists tend to live longer than pessimists.

Optimists had a 55% lower risk of death from all causes and were 23% less likely to die of heart disease.

Even listening to someone complain can affect you

Complaining has also been likened several times to smoking.

Think about sitting next to a colleague who spends the entire lunch break complaining about work, or listening to a friend repeatedly vent about the same problem. 

Even when you are not the one doing the complaining, prolonged exposure to negativity can influence your own mood and outlook.

Humans naturally empathise with people around them. When we observe someone expressing anger, sadness or frustration, our brains can respond to those emotional cues. 

This isn't to say we should distance ourselves from friends who may be going through a difficult time. 

Rather, recognising that emotions can be contagious, we can choose to respond with positivity and help lift their spirits.

So, how can we complain less?

One approach researchers have suggested is to practise gratitude and make a conscious effort to focus on the positive things in life.

It can be as simple as taking a moment at the end of the day to think about a few things you are grateful for, or even jotting them down.

Of course, that is easier said than done.

With the rising cost of living, rude strangers we have to deal with, the occasional run-in with poor customer service, and stressful or toxic workplaces, there is certainly no shortage of things to moan about.

The key, researchers say, is to stay mindful when faced with negative situations.  Acknowledging that something is frustrating and allowing yourself to feel those emotions is perfectly normal. 

The important bit is consciously choosing how you respond to them. Positively, and as much as possible, politely.

Read also: Local asks, 'Do you think we have become too used to speaking harshly to one another in Singapore?'