‘Study, get a job, buy a house’ : Singaporeans reveal what they once accepted as normal but later realised was stressful

SINGAPORE: Securing a good job and owning a home before turning 35, coping with long work hours, and going through National Service (NS) — Singaporeans are opening up about the daily norms they once thought were ordinary, but now find exhausting and anxiety-inducing.

The conversation started when a Reddit user asked: “What’s something we do in SG that everyone just accepts as normal, but when you really think about it, it’s actually quite stressful?”

For the original poster (OP), the biggest source of pressure was the feeling that life came with a fixed timeline everyone was expected to follow.

“Study, get a decent job, earn more, settle down, get a house, save enough for retirement… then somewhere in between you’re also supposed to exercise, have hobbies, maintain friendships and somehow get enough sleep lol,” the OP wrote.

“Nobody is really forcing you, but sometimes it still feels like you’re falling behind if you’re not moving at the same pace as everyone else.”

The OP’s concerns struck a chord with other commenters, who shared their own examples of everyday expectations that can make life in Singapore feel like a constant uphill climb.

One spoke about the dilemma of taking a career break: “Taking a career break. If you take a break, you get left behind by others. Then trying to rejoin the workforce is stressful because of how terrible the job market is. But if you don’t take a break, your health suffers too because of work stress and such.”

Another described feeling taken advantage of at work: “Getting exploited by the company. Part of the pro-business experience in Singapore, because people are afraid to get let go since there is zero unemployment support for those making more than $5k a month and no laws for mandatory severance pay.”

A third pointed to long working hours: “Working 8:30 to 6, five days a week. So many hours on the clock. How much is actually spent working? Also OT. How much of the OT is due to delays in the process chain?”

Others highlighted non-work pressures, including relationships.

One wrote: “Getting a house before 35. It forces people to rush dating and marriage.”

Another raised concerns about privacy: “Taking photos of strangers and posting them online to complain and shame. Sometimes I get anxious in public even when I'm not doing anything wrong lol.”

A third said: “NS lor. Most people agree that it's normal for 18- to 20-year-old guys to do two years of service for peanuts, but it is actually quite stressful for those facing it.”

In other news, a domestic helper took to social media to ask whether it's normal for employers to keep helpers under constant CCTV surveillance while also demanding detailed records of their daily work and spending.

In a Wednesday (Oct 7) post in the Facebook group SINGAPORE TRANSFER (No Fees/SD), DIRECT HIRE & NEW HELPER, the helper, who had been with her current employer for about eight months, wrote that she was unsure why everything had to be monitored.

Read more: ‘Why do I need a logbook?’: Singapore maid stressed over daily task and expense records despite CCTV