‘I feel more like a worker’: Man says family business promises have left him burnt out and uncertain

SINGAPORE: A man who joined his older relatives’ business after being promised he would take over one day is now feeling burnt out by the job.

In an anonymous post on the r/smeSingapore forum, the man shared that he left his previous career after they sold him a “big vision of exciting deals, growth, and building things of our own.”

“They often promise I'll be very successful and that the business will be mine one day. They're also working hard on new opportunities; they say I'll eventually take over.”

Wonderful as it all sounded, however, he said none of those assurances was ever formalised in writing, and he had held back from asking for more details because he did not want to appear distrustful of his own family.

The reality of the job has also been less rosy than he had expected. He said he is currently handling a major client project almost entirely on his own. His relative looks after business connections, lead generation and finances, but the rest falls on him, from technical work and planning to sourcing and execution.

“It's months of repetitive, hands-on work, and I feel more like a worker than someone being groomed to lead,” he said. “When I raised that I was burnt out, they said we can't afford to hire help yet and that I need to learn everything myself first.”

He added that his relatives sometimes speak to him as though he were simply an employee under their management, rather than a future business owner.

Seeking perspectives, he asked other Reddit users: “Am I being selfish or ungrateful? Has anyone been in a similar situation with family, and how did you handle it? I see people my age building things together and I envy them. I feel lonely, like I'm wasting my best years, and like my entrepreneurial drive is fading.”

‘There are many opportunities out there’

In the discussion thread, many users advised him not to rely too heavily on such promises.

One commenter was particularly sceptical about the business's prospects, saying, “A business that cannot afford to hire one worker to replace the designated 'heir' is not gonna make you successful. All the promise of success and all is either a scam or a delusional dream.”

Another commenter echoed this view, “You are already burnt out and they did not offer any help. Take good care of your own well-being. It is very hard to recover from burnout. I have seen some people recover fast and some never go back to their 100% even after 20 years. Do yourself a favour. Take care of yourself first. You are not being selfish.”

A third urged him to walk away from the company, writing, “Why waste your youth and energy on a family business that doesn’t level with you when you can be out building your own career, doing what you want and mingling with like-minded people? There are many opportunities out there, and you don’t have to be tied to this. Protect yourself!”

Meanwhile, a fourth user suggested that he ask for something a little more substantial: an actual succession plan.

They explained, “You were sold a vision, which is good. But have they shown that they have taken concrete steps to get there? Even if they haven't, do they have a plan to get there? Get them to share it with you in writing. It will be good to get something concrete in writing regarding your promised progression through the company there as well.”/TISG

Read also: ‘Should I just keep pushing on?’: 30 y/o SG man with S$320k asks when to take a break from work